If Elizabeth Warren is Cherokee, then The Woodlands’ Rob Eissler is “Geronimo”

W. Robert Eissler.
Geronimo, a medicine man of the Apache Bedonkohe band, who lived from 1829 to 1909, and obviously bears a striking resemblance to W. Robert Eissler of The Woodlands?










The Woodlands, October 25 – The DNA results are in! United States Senator Elizabeth Warren, the ultra-liberal democrat from Massachusetts desperately seeking to claim some sort of special status, has released her DNA test results and now claims she’s kin to the members of the Cherokee Nation.

Cherokee Nation Secretary of State Chuck Hoskin Jr. issued the following statement Monday, October 15, 2018, in response to Senator Elizabeth Warren’s DNA test claiming Native Heritage:

“A DNA test is useless to determine tribal citizenship. Current DNA tests do not even distinguish whether a person’s ancestors were indigenous to North or South America. Sovereign tribal nations set their own legal requirements for citizenship, and while DNA tests can be used to determine lineage, such as paternity to an individual, it is not evidence for tribal affiliation. Using a DNA test to lay claim to any connection to the Cherokee Nation or any tribal nation, even vaguely, is inappropriate and wrong. It makes a mockery out of DNA tests and its legitimate uses while also dishonoring legitimate tribal governments and their citizens, whose ancestors are well documented and whose heritage is proven. Senator Warren is undermining tribal interests with her continued claims of tribal heritage.

Secretary Hoskin makes a good point. Fake claims of minority status don’t bond the claimant to the group. Rather, they are and should be offensive to the group.

Rachel Dolezal’s treachery towards African-Americans in her position as President of the Spokane Chapter of the NAACP mocked and stereotyped African-Americans. Her behavior was an insult.

President Donald Trump defended Native Americans with his mocking description of Warren as “Pocahontas” to bring forward the point that her remarks were inappropriate.

That brings us to W. Robert Eissler, the former State Representative, former Conroe ISD Trustee, and longtime campaign treasurer for United States Congressman Kevin Brady from The Woodlands. Eissler received his DNA test results earlier this week from 23andme.com and playfully shared them with The Golden Hammer. Eissler most certainly is not claiming that he is a Native American nor is he claiming any tribal affiliation with any Native American tribe.

Nevertheless, Eissler’s DNA test results in light of Warren’s specious claim and the Cherokee Nation’s response raise an important question.

Here’s everything about W. Robert Eissler you’ve ever wanted to know.

W. Robert Eissler’s DNA test results.

There you have it. Eissler is 0.2% Native American! Does that make him “Geronimo” in the flesh living in The Woodlands? Of course not. Eissler’s deoxyribonucleic acid reveals that he’s 99.8% of European ancestry and mostly of French and German ancestry. Somewhere likely in the eighteenth century he may have had an ancestor of Manchurian or Mongolian descent.

Has Eissler lived his life as a member of the Apache band of Bedonkohe? Of course not. Eissler has not attempted to use his DNA test results as a means of social advancement.

Elizabeth Warren grew up in a middle-class Anglo family in Oklahoma where her father was a salesman for Montgomery Ward. She attended college in Washington, D.C., got married, and eventually graduated with a college degree from the University of Houston. While still married, she attended law school in New Jersey. Her experience was profoundly Anglo and had nothing whatsoever to do with the challenges of Native Americans who faced Europeans as they descended upon North America.

Native Americans have every right to take exception to Warren’s claims of Native American ancestry and some sort of bond to them. She has no such bond. Her experience was nothing like theirs. Her childhood, her adulthood, and her outlook are hardly akin to anything but a northeastern liberal law professor who believes the United States Government should take responsibility for the welfare of all people and determine their futures.

That’s about as different and adverse from the Native American outlook and experience as an outlook and experience could be.

President Donald Trump had every good reason to chide Warren (“Pocahontas”) for her arrogance in trying to usurp the difficulties Native Americans have faced in their heritage as though those difficulties were her own with which she could identify.

(Thanks to Eissler for being a good sport!)



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