Kelli Ann Cox, Publisher, The Golden Hammer
The English language has gained a new verb! It’s the word “doyal.” “To doyal” means “to vote, as an elected official, for government spending which only benefits you as opposed to the citizens you represent.” It’s conjugated as follows: I doyal, you doyal, he/she doyals, we doyal, you (plural or cringing singular) doyal, they doyal. Often, it’s a transitive verb (example: “Keough doyaled the citizens”), but intransitive usages (“the Commissioners Court was doyaling) are also available.
Two days ago, Montgomery County Judge Mark Keough doyaled the taxpaying citizens of Montgomery County when he initiated a plan to provide himself with a personal driver, a County government-paid vehicle from the Emergency Management Department, and a personal bodyguard, because Keough is so afraid of the citizens of Montgomery County. Perhaps, Keough rightfully fears the citizens, because in 2020, the scofflaw County Judge not only doyaled himself a personal driver and vehicle, but also he (1) blatantly violated the Texas Government Code’s Chapter 418 by issuing mandated business closures without any authority to do so whatsoever, thereby causing tens of thousands of people to lose their jobs, a spike in the number of local suicides, and a huge increase in family violence, (2) he blatantly violated the Texas Constitution by claiming to pass criminal laws without any action by the legislature (apparently, Keough believes he has martial law powers, (3) slammed his expensive Lexus SUV into a parked police car early in the morning of September 10, 2020, in The Woodlands and injured an innocent police officer sitting in the vehicle on patrol, (4) cost taxpayers $4 million by agreeing to fund an ill-advised Forensics Center, which almost burst the budget to cause a tax increase but ultimately just forced the County government to draw down funds saved for serious contingencies, and (5) gave his “chief of staff” (who oversees a staff of two secretaries) a $20,000 per year pay raise, in addition to Keough’s own more than $90,000 pay raise he gave himself.
Why is the term “doyal”?
Because Keough in 2018 defeated former County Judge Craig Doyal, known for voting himself pay raises almost every year, voting new “open meeting” policies which shut down citizen comments during public meetings, and voted to give his favorite political and legal fund contributors more than $100 million in a lucrative tollroad contract for a tollroad extension, which was completely unnecessary other than to help a few private real estate developers expand their properties. Doyal also voted to award tens of millions of dollars in contracts to Halff Associates, the engineering firm over which Doyal’s business partner, best friend, and golf buddy, Bobby Jack Adams, presides. Doyal also voted to give his own daughter a job in the Montgomery County government and to award her exorbitant pay raises. Doyal’s doyaling was so extensive that this editorial would be far too long, if this newspaper were to list out all of the instances of doyaling.
Doyal trained others to doyal. His primary acolyte, now Precinct 2 Montgomery County Commissioner Charlie Riley, doyaled the taxpayers when he moved to create a new position in the Magnolia Constable’s office and then voted to award his own wife the job!
Obviously, Montgomery County is a County government where doyaling has become a form of art!