BREAKING NEWS! Constable Gable disavows Phonoscope, discusses his office’s success

BREAKING NEWS! The Woodlands, January 11 – In a victory for the taxpayers all around, Precinct 3 Montgomery Constable Ryan Gable, one of the up and coming law enforcement officers in Texas, disavowed any plans to install Phonoscope fiber optic cable in his office and told The Golden Hammer, Montgomery County’s leading daily newspaper, that […]

Metts to hold rally to announce he’s seeking higher office in celebration of sexual harassment; one speaker demurs

New Caney, December 6 – Rather than resigning from office as a result of the sexual harassment he committed, JP James Metts, a member of the corrupt Davenport Ring in Montgomery County, will announce on Saturday, December 9, 2017, at 10 a.m. that he’ll actually seek higher office by running against incumbent Precinct 4 County […]

County Auditor Martin creates bureaucratic accounting snafu for Precinct 3 Constable Gable

Conroe, October 2 – Precinct 3 Constable Ryan Gable’s request to carry forward unused salary and benefit funds from his Constable Precinct 3 operating funds gave rise to quite the bureacratic snafu at the Tuesday, September 26, 2017, meeting of the Montgomery County Commissioner’s Court. Fortunately, Precinct 3 County Commissioner James Noack suggested a solution […]

Montgomery County significantly below national standards for number of law enforcement officers

Montgomery County significantly below national standards for number of law enforcement officers

Image: The cover of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s most recent annual report, Crime in the United States 2015. Conroe, May 1 – Despite claiming to be one of the most conservative and Republican counties in the United States, Montgomery County’s shortfall of full-time sworn peace officers – policemen – is substantial. The Golden Hammer, Montgomery […]

Constable Gable announces joint DWI Task Force to combat drinking-and-driving over spring break weekend

The Woodlands, March 16 – Constable Ryan Gable announces a joint D.W.I. Task force over the Spring Break weekend, Friday March 17, 2017 through Sunday, March 18, 2017. This joint effort with the Montgomery County Precinct 3 Constable’s Office and the Department of Public Safety will be targeting those drivers operating motor vehicle upon the […]

As the computer technology in the Commissioners Courtroom melts down, the highly-paid IT guy sits and relaxes

As the computer technology in the Commissioners Courtroom melts down, the highly-paid IT guy sits and relaxes

IMAGE: At the tip of the arrow sits Marshall Shirley, Montgomery County’s Information Technology Director, during the complete meltdown of the computer technology system in the Commissioners Courtroom on Tuesday, March 14, 2017. He was obviously very relaxed sitting in the dark corner. Conroe, March 16 – In the midst of a total technological meltdown […]

Lone Star GCD Candidates: Captain Dane Cantwell Offers Strong Background, No Nonsense Solutions

THIS ARTICLE IS PART OF A SERIES PROVIDING IN-DEPTH COVERAGE OF THE CANDIDATES FOR APPOINTMENT TO THE LONE STAR GROUNDWATER CONSERVATION DISTRICT BOARD OF DIRECTORS. The Woodlands, February 5 – Dane Cantwell, the Reserve Captain in the Precinct 3 Constable’s Office and Chief Executive Officer of KA Energy Partners, an oil and gas exploration company, […]